Catfish Bingo!

Clear your calendars and tell your friends to fuck off for a night because the fourth season of Catfish is back! Oh sure, it’s complete and utter trash but it’s 63% more tolerable than The Only Way is Essex and Jezza K (there was a study and everything). “But wait, isn’t this season just going to be like the last three?” I don’t hear you ask because you’re an intelligent person who is asking more important questions. “Ah, on the contrary” I answer to no one, because this season has shaken it up more than Taylor Swift in a blender. And by ‘shaken-up’ I mean lightly prodded.

The first earth-shattering change is that Max isn’t here for half the season. Sarcasm aside, this is actually pretty shitty news as Max brought a much needed injection of common sense into the otherwise vapid world of Catfish. Nev certainly does his best but it’s hard to offer a balanced input when you’re the lady-punching, phone-tossing offspring of millionaires.

Nevertheless, Nev is as excited as a puppy to bring you a “refreshing” new season that boasts “New Challenges”. Basically, he’s trying to say it’s not all romantic plots but then again, a fair few previous episodes haven’t been either. Gone is the old formulaic approach of 2+2=4 and behold the almighty, revolutionary approach of 1+3=4!

To spruce up this season for you, co-editor Natt and I sat down and puzzled out some of the typical features you’ll find in every episode. Hence, we present to you *drumroll please* CATFISH BINGO! We are in no way encouraging you to drink every time you tick a box, nor are we you suggesting you down a shot if/when you get a line. It would be utterly unspeakable to even contemplate finishing the bottle should you get a full house.