‘This is our most exciting Radar Tour yet’ is how NME decided to sell their latest foray into new music exposure to the masses. Turns out that although that’s the byline they’ve gone with– looking at The Joiners crowd tonight– it seems that no one really believes it because well, people are very few on the ground. In fact, just before the first band of the evening take to the stage, I realise that the 3 bands plus their entourages amount to more people than the actual punters… And, even more terrifyingly, I’m the only non-band associated female in the room.
The first band of the evening provide a rather mixed bag. Fat White Family produce one hell of a racket for the duration of their set; but prove to be some of the least likeable characters I’ve seen perform (and that’s saying something). Fat Whites play brilliantly rawkus guitar rock, which is equal parts gritty and seedy– and deliver it with such blasé, ‘fuck you’ attitude that it’s just everything the genre is calling out for right now. But whilst the guitar noise wails on, everything Lias Saoudi does (beyond his vocals) is just built to make me dislike him.
He spits on the floor (and call me a prude, but that’s one of the things that just riles me up uncontrollably) and gives everyone in the room an incredible view of his arsecrack with his ripped jeans/no underwear combo– which is just made worse when he crouches down on the stage later in the show and we get an ample view of his ballsack.
Ugh, can I have some brainbleach for Christmas please?
The Amazing Snakeheads, on the other hand, despite having quite a looming presence are quite a likeable trio who play some thunderously old school rock and roll. The Scottish 3-piece are all swagger and snarl– with a gritty bassline alongside the staccato jack-knife of the lead guitar. It’s a full on noise assault without any frills and it’s fantastically brilliant. Vocally it’s not very often that you get to hear an accent from a vocalist but Dale Barclay bucks all the trends by embracing his Glaswegian drawl. The twang helps to make the lyrics that little bit more vicious and brutal and heck, even that but more intimidating– but it helps set The Amazing Snakeheads apart.
Highlight of the set undoubtedly comes from the full frontal musical assault of ‘Truth Serum’ (though not in the literal sense of the words observed during Fat Whites). It’s breakneck, ferocious and you’re half afraid that if you stepped too close to the stage– you might just have your fingers broken. And that certainly gets the adrenaline going.
Part of me (the part that’s had 4 pints of cider in 90 minutes) is tempted to stay and watch headliners Cerebral Ballzy. But when the guy behind me comes back from the toilets with some pilfered loo roll and the novel idea of ‘I’m going to throw this round during their set’ I wisely decide to give it a miss and trudge back home.
Tonight’s NME tour has proven that there is, indeed, hope on the horizon for the rockier end of the musical spectrum. However, NME seriously need to re-evaluate exactly how to match a line-up because tonight, beyond the few in the know, the lack of people is seriously concerning.
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